Oh no no no no no... no.

So I did it. The thing I never wanted to do but always knew I would do: I watched the new TLC show "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". I am so embarrassed. So embarrassed. More so, I found myself wondering why TLC saw the potential for this show, proposed it, approved it, developed it, and aired it? Because it's so darn bad that it's good that's why (if you read that last sentence in a country twang you've obviously been exposed to it too).

Their TLC Promo Shot - I guess they didn't
hear the cameraman say "cheese".

I am not a Honey Boo Boo expert but from what I understand and have learned, Honey Boo Boo (real name Alana) was on another, much more respectable TLC show, Toddlers and Tiaras. She became a fan favourite and from there the show/spinoff was born. She still competes in pageants and all that, but we get to see what life is like for her and her family outside of all that. It's all down hill - and less sparkly - from there. They are everything you hoped they weren't/were. 

Allow me to introduce you to her family dynamic. There's the mom, June aka "Mamma". The dad, Mike aka "Sugar Bear". She has 3 sisters: Jessica aka "Chubbs", Lauryn aka "Pumpkin" and Anna aka "Chickadee". Before I move on I will tell you that Anna is 17 and pregnant. Honey Boo Boo also made reference to a brother, but I never saw one, nor do I see one listed so... maybe she's confused? Or I am? I mean, I definitely am.

For my first episode, I was lucky enough to catch the one where the family participates in the Redneck Games - lucky me! At the games they played the ever popular 'bobbing for pig legs' game. You know, the one where you fill a clear tupperware container with water and drop in 8 pig legs and see who can get the most out in a minute without using their hands? I might actually just leave the rest of the games to the imagination. For some, it might be enough just knowing this kind of thing is happening out there in our big beautiful world. 

I like they way they talk. For example when "Mamma" is trying to say how too much cleavage is not appropriate (at least I think that's what she was saying... there are even subtitles most of the show), she actually said "all that jiggle jaggle is not beautimous". I couldn't have said it better myself Mamma. See, it's not called The Learning Channel for nothing! Speaking of how they talk, Honey Boo Boo likes to speak with her belly. What I mean by that is... you know the movie Ace Ventura, and how he likes to speak with his, um, posterior? Well it's like that. She uses her hands to fashion her belly button into a mouth. I can't really describe it further. If you still have questions, probably best to Google it. 

So, after all that you might ask if I will ever watch it again? Absolutely! If for no other reason then to be an enabler and make sure everyone important in my life sees it too.